I Live In That Valley
- Frank Weber
- a few seconds ago
- 4 min read
By Frank Weber
Copyright ©2025
I came across a meme that showed a cartoon character looking up to the stars crying, and it read…
“I think I hit the point in life where I’m just done…I cried, I tried, but everything’s crashing down. My demons are taking over again, but this time I’m too tired to fight back.”
…and I thought to myself…what a load of shit!
Yes, I AM that tired and I can definitely feel the walls closing in, and they're ready to crash.
Even though the fire and the fight inside of me has already started to leak out of my shoes down into the dirt, I never once ever thought that I was too tired to fight back.
I never once ever thought that I should quit.
That reminds me of a t-shirt saying that read…
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of Death, I shall fear no evil…cause I’m the baddest motherfucker there.”
No, I don’t consider myself a bad motherfucker, not by any stretch. Maybe there was a time when I thought so, but not anymore.
Still, I live in that valley.
I’m a permanent resident of that valley.
And, all things considered, I kinda like it here.
Maybe that’s cause I know what to expect.
I never expected an easy row.
Life might’ve been a little more bearable if things did ‘come around’ for me more often than not.
But THAT is NOT life.
Life has always been hard.
Life sucks that way.
Life is hard and it hurts.
Just like the man said, “Life IS pain…anyone that tells you different is selling something.”
Those walls were always way too close to begin with, and they began to crack many, many years ago.
And they crumble a little bit more with the passing of every silent, empty soul-deadening day.
But ‘too tired to fight back’?
Hardly.
That’s not my way.
I’m not surrounded by Demons, and I don’t have any Demons – I AM one of the Demons.
Everyone and everything is always more comfortable with their own, I suppose.
Maybe I’m more comfortable here getting slapped by life than not.
I expect that hand to slap me.
Don’t misunderstand…I have no qualms about cutting off any hand that tries to slap me otherwise.
But why should I worry about it here?
Why should I give it a second thought?
No, there aren’t any Demons closing in on me trying to take me over.
They’re just hanging out, all smiles, waving me over…and I am just so tired anymore that the offer looks more and more appealing.
Even still, why would anyone – especially anyone that really knows me – believe that I could ever pack it in so easily?
After all…I AM the Devil…or so I’ve been told.
That’s not nearly the case, but people think it because I am and I own every scrap of who and what I am. Nothing more and nothing less.
That’s the only real difference between a ‘happy, well-adjusted person’ and a Demon like me.
Some folks worry way too much and cling way too tight.
Maybe I just don’t worry and cling enough?
Doesn’t really matter.
I know all of this about myself, my life and my world and I won’t ever pretend anything to the contrary.
I won’t ever pretend that there’s some Karmic, cosmic justice due.
I won’t ever pretend that somehow, someway things will magically go back to what they once were and the world will be a happy place once again.
Remember…once it’s gone, you can’t ever get it back.
I know all of this and I know that I can never go back to ANY time in my life that I loved.
Those times only exist in my memories now.
That’s where they live.
It’s been a bitter, painful lesson that's been proven over and over again, year after year.
Still, it's very true.
Yes, I know all of this about myself.
But before you criticize me too harshly, what do you really know about yourself?
Cry if you will.
Give up fighting if you must.
Just don’t ever blame your life’s perceived failures on ‘demons’ that overpower you.
It’s a cheap cop-out.
As for me, misery loves company.
I live in that valley, and there are times when it is far beyond any hell on earth.
Even so, I live here in this valley…and I’m rather at home here.